The Minnesota Orchestra Thinks You’re All Idiots

The leaders of the Minnesota Orchestra think that you’re the stupidest audience in the United States. Maybe even in the world. Maybe even in the known universe. There’s no other way to explain what’s on the front of their webpage right now.

Is it true you are asking musicians to accept 1983-level salaries?

That is not the case. In 1983, Minnesota Orchestra musicians earned $33,000 a year, and health care and pension costs were more modest, manageable expenses.

Today, we are offering an average annual salary of $89,000 per musician in addition to a benefit package that is far more generous than that of the average professional, totaling $30,000.

I don’t comb the Minnesota Orchestra website every day anymore, so I’m not positive when this was put up, but I’m guessing it came about after violist Sam Bergman’s impassioned speech at the Bruckner/Mozart concert, and the musicians’ full-page ad last weekend in the Strib.

The bankers (may I repeat, the BANKERS) (the ~FINANCIERS~, if you will) in charge at the Minnesota Orchestra might be interested to know that there’s a thing called “inflation.” It even has a Wikipedia page, so you know it’s real.

Inflation. Turns out, it checks out.

Of course inflation is a relatively new discovery, so I’m not sure if the heads of Wells Fargo or US Bancorp have learned about it yet. But independent sources have confirmed to me that it does indeed exist. Even more shockingly, there are now newfangled calculators on the tubes of the Internet that allow the peasant patrons of the Minnesota Orchestra to effortlessly run complicated equations on the subject.

Jon Campbell and Richard Davis: “INFLATION? WHAT IS THIS WITCHERY? WHY, THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING WE EVER KNEW ABOUT THE HISTORY OF THE GLOBAL FINANCIAL MARKETS!” (Also, yeah, I haven’t gotten around to uninstalling Windows Messenger. Sue me.)

As you can see above, according to usinflationcalculator.com, something that cost $33,000 in 1983 would cost $77,123.58 in 2013. The Minnesota Orchestra’s proposed base salary is $78,000. As my luthier always says, CLOSE ENOUGH FOR JAZZ.

And you know what? Sam even mentioned the i-word in his fricking speech!

Under their plan, the base salary of a Minnesota Orchestra musician would plummet, overnight, to a figure that, adjusted for inflation, equates to what our predecessors were making in 1983.

Since Sam is a terrible awful no-good communicator who loves crafting complicated indecipherable sentence structures impossible for anyone to understand or parse, let me break that down into more easily digestible terms for ya.

• a figure that, adjusted for inflation
• a figure that, ADJUSTED FOR INFLATION
• a figure that, ADJUSTED FOR INFLATION

Hey, MOA! You want to bring salaries down to 1983 levels? Then grow a pair and own it.

In the meantime, the board clearly thinks we audience members have the intellectual capacity of a box of rocks. So kudos, Minnesota Orchestra audiences. Michael Henson, Jon Campbell, and Richard Davis would like to grant you the highly coveted “Most Idiotic Audience In The Known Universe” award. Where do you want to display yours? I’m putting mine on the shelf above my toilet. It’ll go very well with something else that is regularly found in that room.

*flush*

Musings on Marketing

Today a friend pointed out the Marketing portion of the MOA’s website to me, and I wanted to share some of my thoughts on it. I remember being suspicious of their claims a while ago, but I had no way to confirm or deny those suspicions. Now, however, I’m better versed in the art of the 990, and the MOA has shared more information about the auditorium at Hall. So let’s take a look!

From the website:

Throughout the recession, our earned revenue has been essentially flat—a significant achievement in this economy.

“Essentially” is such a magic word, isn’t it? Stick “essentially” in front of anything and you can essentially say anything and essentially no one will ever bother you for any essential details. Essentially.

Given the context, I’m assuming that by “earned revenue” the MOA means “program service revenue”… (Ticket revenue, rental revenue, concession revenue, etc.; not grants, contributions, or investment income.) The MOA’s “program service revenue” can be found on the first page of the 990s…

Investment Income Excitement

Let’s pretend you’ve been asked to analyze the investment income of eight corporations. Consequently, eight shiny charts have just been delivered to your desk…

***

Before you go any further, scribble down some thoughts, free of any preconceptions you bring to this blog. Who is doing the best? Who is doing the worst? Who is under-performing? Who is over-performing? Who had the best and worst years? Are there any questions you’d like to ask the men and women in charge of these corporations about the investment decisions they’ve made over the last few years?

***

Putting Michael Henson Under the Microscope

This February, Minnesota Orchestra CEO Michael Henson was thrust into the international spotlight like never before. He became a recurring character on Norman Lebrecht’s widely read blog Slipped Disc (“Michael Henson and his board continue, against all logic, to defend their lockout” – “a cultural tragedy, scripted by a pair of tough-talking boards and feeble managements” – “we have received a recording of Michael Henson’s stumbling appearance before the state legislature in Minnesota“). Alex Ross of The New Yorker opined, “The management and board in Minnesota need to think long and hard about what they are doing.” On another New Yorker blog, Russell Platt wrote that “Michael Henson, the Minnesota Orchestral Association’s C.E.O., seems determined to put his foot in it.” Orchestra blog Adaptistration ran a “Most Bush League CEO” competition, which Henson won by a country mile (as of this writing, with 77% of the vote). Closer to home, MinnPost was critical of the attitude Mr. Henson took regarding the neutral Grammy concert put on by Mayor Rybak and Judy Dayton, and state legislators were obviously skeptical of Mr. Henson’s testimony.

Especially in light of the massive cuts in compensation that Mr. Henson is proposing for Minnesota Orchestra musicians (thirty to fifty percent), many of my readers have wondered if he has also taken substantial cuts. So I ran some numbers for you…

Another Hearing and a Lockout Flier

It seems you can’t swing a dead cat these days without hitting yet another politician looking into the Minnesota Orchestral Association. Here’s the latest…

On Tuesday February 12 at 2:15pm, there will be a committee meeting discussing Minnesota Legacy funding in Room 5 of the State Office Building in St. Paul. The Minnesota Orchestra and the St. Paul Chamber Orchestra will be subjects of discussion. Representatives from both sides of the Minnesota Orchestra labor dispute (including Mr. Henson) have been asked to speak. Community voices such as Orchestrate Excellence will also be present. The public is welcome to attend. The Legacy Committee is chaired by Rep. Phyllis Kahn, who, as you may remember, was the first lawmaker to sound the alarm over the Minnesota Orchestral Association’s behavior toward musicians and taxpayers back in early December. It’s worth re-reading her editorial to get a vibe for where she stands on this issue. Needless to say, it ought to be one of the more gripping Legacy committee meetings in recent memory.

Happy New Year

My favorite performance from the Song of the Lark Advent calendar. Ella Fitzgerald in “What Are You Doing New Year’s Eve?”

2012 is over!

Thank crap!

GUYS! WE MADE IT!

I have some housekeeping stuff…

2012 STATS!

Every blogger worth his salt is writing something about his 2012 stats today. So I will, too, but with a twist… Following the example of the Minnesota Orchestral Association, I will release a number to you, completely out of context, which has been independently audited, by WordPress:

Traffic at Song of the Lark has increased by roughly 1600% from last year.

Here’s what this statistic looks like on a satirical graph I made to advance my pre-ordained narrative that this blog is doing fabulously.

Seriously, though. Traffic did increase by 1600%, and my readership has grown beyond my wildest dreams. There are a lot of people reading this blog. Want to know how many? Drew McManus is currently running a poll, asking readers to guess about various statistics about Adaptistration. Under the question “Which culture blog referred the most traffic to Adaptistration in 2012?” Song of the Lark is one of the options (along with Slipped Disc). I won’t tell you if it’s the right answer, just in case you want to take the quiz yourself, but the fact that Drew even considered using SOTL as an option… Craziness! Craziness, all of it.

So anyway, thank you thank you thank you, all! And how about a special shout-out to Michael Henson? He’s a huge reason why this blog is so popular!

In the continuing vein of British GIFs…

MOST POPULAR POSTS!

In case you want to take a trek down memory lane… (Entries are listed in reverse order for optimal countdown excitement.)

5) Great Female Violinists: A List. Proof that before the Orchestral Apocalypse, I mainly wrote about Victorian violinists. If you’re remotely interested in the history of music, and you’re a reader who came aboard after August (and most of you are), you should check out this page. I’ve written about some really amazing inspirational women who are very unjustly neglected.

4) A Layman’s Guide to the Minnesota Orchestra Lockout. What the title says. As an update, yesterday I wrote and posted a sequel: A Layman’s Guide to the Minnesota Orchestra Lockout, Part 2.

3) Violinist Jill Olson Moser Writes About Minnesota Orchestra Subs. Proof that my readers like it when I shut up once in a while and bring aboard amazing guest writers. A big thank you not just to Jill, but to all of my 2012 guest bloggers. You brought perspectives I don’t have, and I’m so thankful.

2) Is Minnesota Orchestra management lying to us? Ah, yes, the good old days before we knew they were…

And of course…

1) The Key And the Lockout: Minnesota Orchestra Musicians In-Concert, Oct. 18. Well, of course. This is the essay that led to the great Alex Ross Recognition of 2012.

Possibly the GREATEST TWEET OF ALL TIME.

NEW FACEBOOK PAGE!

I’ve had one for a while but I only revved it up yesterday. Here it is. You can also like it by checking out the link on the right-most column of the blog. There you can connect with other readers, share stuff, and message me privately. It’ll be interesting to see how the page evolves. Just a quick reminder to be respectful to everyone. Remember that important people are reading what you write.

Once the lockouts are over, and I go back to blogging about historical female violinists nobody has ever heard of, you have my permission to un-like me.

OPEN THREAD!

Feel free to talk in the comments about what you want to see in the blog in the new year…ideas for mobilization…what exactly you want to see state representatives do in the new year… Anything, really.

Thanks for being my readers. You’re the best. xoxo

- Emily

Some Observations on Charts

I’ve been studying the Minnesota Orchestral Association’s 990s that Drew McManus so generously released to the public in late November. If you’re remotely interested in this conflict, and have no life, they’re great fun to dig through. (Want to know what the President of the MOA was paid in 1999? Want to know how wildly income from grants and contributions has varied over the years? Want to know how much the MOA pays Vengerov or Ma? The 990s will tell you.) I’m hoping that Mary might comment on the “vintage” 990s at some point, whether on this blog or in another public space, but in the meantime, I wanted to point something out.

Last night I was constructing some charts for my own personal use, and fiddling with this kids’ graph-making website, when I realized something no one had ever taught me: charts are wildly subjective.

Some Historical Perspective

A reader passed along this lovely vintage piece from the Minnesota Historical Society archives… It’s an excerpt from John K Sherman’s “Music and Maestros: The Story of the Minneapolis Symphony Orchestra,” which was published in November of 1952. Highly recommended reading! I was so entertained that I live-blogged my reactions to it on Facebook this morning. I want you to read the whole thing yourself, so I won’t spoil anything for you, but here are a few of my initial observations:

• We’ve been discussing the fiscal sustainability of the Minnesota Orchestra since before the Minnesota Orchestra was even formed.
• Minneapolis has been an orchestral leader since 1900. We have a long proud history of excellence to guard and preserve.
• The violist story in this article is one of the most entertaining performance mishaps that I’ve ever read about. Way to reinforce violist stereotypes, dear Joseph Frank!

The thing I really wanted to share with you, though, is this very cool mention of soprano Olive Fremstad:

The first performance of the new orchestra needed a big and costly name, preferably a singer’s name, as an ace-in-the-hole guarantee of its success and as lure for that sizable portion of the populace that might be more name-conscious than symphony-hungry. The orchestra’s backers were willing to spend five hundred dollars for such a name. Minneapolis’ own Olive Fremstad, who in the last three years had become the darling of European opera-goers, would have filled all specifications. But she was not available for the opening night and could only be engaged for a later appearance…

The sixth and final concert of the first season, on March 23, 1904, reverted to the International Auditorium. Olive Fremstad, absent from her home city for ten years and now laureled with success, was the soloist.

Olive Fremstad was an amazing woman, with an amazing life story. In fact, she had such an amazing life story that Willa Cather used it as the basis of a novel:

The Song of the Lark.

Is your mind blown?

I chose this name for the blog way back in May of 2011 because of the connotations with Cather (a well-respected music writer), the story of the novel itself (a small-town Midwestern girl of Scandinavian descent fulfilling her artistic ambitions), and Vaughan Williams’s Lark Ascending (one of the most famous pieces ever dedicated to a female violinist). But it turns out there’s a pretty remarkable Minnesota Orchestra connection in there, too! I am a nerd, and I think this is very cool.

On a related upbeat note, our Ode to Joy concerts are rapidly approaching! I’m coming to the Sunday show. If you see me, please say hello. Forgive me if I don’t recognize you, because I’m absolutely terrible with faces. I’d love to thank you in-person for coming along on this crazy journey.

Response to Jon Eisele’s MinnPost Editorial

Here’s a link to Jon Eisele’s piece in MinnPost: “MN Orchestra board member: We seek our musicians’ partnership to build a strong future.”

I’m not going to spend the time nitpicking every little thing in it that’s misleading or unsatisfactory, so I’ll just pick out a few highlights…

Here’s Mr. Eisele’s answer to why the mission statement was changed:

Our mission statement was changed in our new strategic plan to signify a new emphasis around serving our community. This language change is important, not because the “orchestra” isn’t part of it, but because it communicates a pivotal shift in what we see as the role of symphony orchestras in the 21^st century. A shift to a more community-minded and responsive organization is a positive and needed repositioning for our orchestra.

For those of you who haven’t memorized the orchestra’s old and new mission statements… It went from

Our mission is to enrich and inspire our community as a symphony orchestra internationally recognized for its artistic excellence.

Our mission will be implemented by:

• Enhancing the traditional core of concerts with innovative approaches to programming and format;
• Providing the finest educational and outreach programs;
• Representing and promoting the Minnesota Orchestra and the State of Minnesota to audiences across the state,  across the country and around the world through tours and electronic media;
• Maintaining an acoustically superior hall with a welcoming environment.

To:

The Minnesota Orchestral Association inspires, educates and serves our community through internationally recognized performances of exceptional music delivered within a sustainable financial structure.

Seriously, now. Which mission statement sounds like it’s more interested in serving its community? If community service really was at the heart of the Minnesota Orchestra’s new mission, then why remove references to “the finest educational and outreach programs”, “representing and promoting the Minnesota Orchestra and the State of Minnesota to audiences across the state” and maintaining a hall with “a welcoming environment”? I think this is a fair question.

Also, I’m failing to understand how not addressing a community’s questions about its finances is in any way, shape, or form serving them…

Another point: I was disappointed that Mr. Eisele took words directly from the Minnesota Orchestra’s website and Mr. Campbell and Mr. Davis. I would have much preferred to hear from him in his own words.

The website:

These donations would not have been contributed to the Orchestra if there were not a building project to support.

Mr. Eisele:

The vast majority of donations we received for the hall campaign would not have been contributed to the orchestra if there were not a building project to support.

Mr. Campbell, Mr. Davis:

 In 2010, we asked our musicians to help alleviate growing deficits by taking a 22 percent wage reduction. We told them that even this sizable reduction would not resolve our financial problems. It would, however, make the cliff less steep in 2012. The musicians chose not to participate in those reductions. That was their legal right, and so we must grapple with even bigger financial issues today.

Mr. Eisele:

It was the musicians’ legal right to do so, but it has made the cliff we face today all the steeper.

Mr. Campbell and Davis:

Why would we seek harm for any member of this iconic organization?

Mr. Eisele:

Why would we want anything but the best for the organization?

And so on and so forth. It would have been lovely to hear more from Mr. Eisele, and fewer rearranged talking points. We’ve already read the talking points, thanks.

I couldn’t help but note that Mr. Eisele ignored the DeCosse’s question, “Has the community raised almost $47 million to renovate an Orchestra Hall that will not include a first-rate Minnesota Orchestra?” That’s troubling, especially when it’s probably the most pertinent question that the DeCosses raised.

On top of that, there are no answers in Mr. Eisele’s piece to questions like:

• Why the orchestra trumpeted its financial health from 2008-2010
• Why Mr. Henson misled the state legislature
• Why an independent analysis would be harmful
• Why orchestra experts like Drew McManus, Robert Levine, and Bill Eddins are so off-base in their assessments
• Why we shouldn’t be listening to all the former music directors who claim these cuts will be catastrophic
• Why there was a $6 million draw from the endowment in 2011 that did not go to operating expenses
• How much revenue will come from the newly renovated hall, and how

Etc., etc., etc.

We believe the board and the community that supports the Minnesota Orchestra deserve that level of respect.

I look at it another way. I believe the community that supports the Minnesota Orchestra deserves the respect of the board. They are there to serve us and the musicians. Serving us would include submitting to a full independent financial analysis. This isn’t about the musicians anymore. It’s about the taxpayers who footed the $14 million bill for the Orchestra Hall renovation.

In short, this is a hugely unsatisfying piece. I doubt the DeCosses are satisfied. I know I’m not.

Response to Ken Cutler’s 11/11 Strib Editorial

MINNESOTA ORCHESTRA

The musicians must make a counteroffer

I have been a season-ticket holder for the Minnesota Wild since their first game and a Minnesota Orchestra subscriber since 1975, and I serve on the orchestra board. I am frustrated that my two favorite winter activities are in the midst of lockouts. But at least in hockey I can take heart that the sides are talking about contract terms and that each side has presented proposals and counterproposals. In the case of the orchestra, however, two proposals have been presented to the musicians, as long ago as April, yet no counterproposal has been made.

The hockey players never demanded an independent financial analysis before making a counterproposal. They did their own work after examining the league’s finances, yet had even less insight than do the musicians, who have audited financials and 1,200 pages of documents. Unless the musicians offer a counterproposal, no progress can be made. And they must recognize that the orchestra cannot survive if concert revenues only cover 22 percent of operating expenses, a significant portion of which is musician salaries.

I truly love the orchestra and its fine musicians, but if this continues I will think seriously about canceling my season tickets, ending my annual contributions and eliminating the bequest to the orchestra in my will.

KEN CUTLER, EDINA

Well then feel free to resign, I guess

I know dozens of people from all around the world who would be delighted to take the awful inconvenience of being on the Minnesota Orchestra board off your hands. Contact me ASAP and we can discuss options.

If you do resign or withdraw your contributions, take solace in the fact that if the current proposed contract is ratified, many more people will cancel their season tickets, end their annual contributions, and eliminate their bequests. So we may lose you, but we will retain many others who we otherwise would not have. So it will probably be, as the Star Tribune said about the Minnesota Orchestra’s holiday season, a “net” “wash.”

Also, I hope that as a corporate lawyer you don’t endorse the business practices you seem to be recommending here. I highly doubt that when you represented AmCom Software, Inc., in its sale to US Mobility, Inc., for $163,000,000 that you would have willingly overseen a transaction that included such egregiously misleading and confusing numbers, no matter how many thousands of pages of information you had in your possession. And since over the months nobody in management has addressed the musicians’ allegation that there are conflicting numbers at play, and since we’ve caught Mr. Henson blatantly lying about the fiscal health of the orchestra at least once before, and since Mr. Davis has been cheerfully deceptive about numbers in the past, and since the draw amounts released by the Orchestra do not match those listed on their tax forms, I’m sure you’ll forgive me for assuming that there are misleading numbers at play within those 1200 pages. You’d agree, it would be naive to assume otherwise.

While I have you here, you mind answering some of these hundred questions? Also: do you know why the orchestra was trumpeting its financial health so loudly in 2010? I’ve been asking for weeks now and nobody from the Orchestra has addressed the discrepancy. Hey, maybe we could set up an in-depth interview to discuss the conflict from your perspective. I’ve got a whole group of well-informed people who would love to talk to you. We could have a conference call. A Google Hangout! You can record those and upload them onto Youtube for the whole world to see. It could be awesome. Contact me! Seriously!

Sorry about your favorite winter activities being canceled. That sucks. Not as bad as, say, losing your job and health insurance over Christmas. But it still sucks.

EMILY HOGSTAD, EAU CLAIRE

Edit, later – Oh, and by the way, take a look at the differences between the two proposals. They’re basically identical. It’s completely disingenuous – nay, irresponsible – to insinuate there are any substantive differences between them.